I cannot believe that Zach and I have been married a year. A YEAR! I feel like we just got married a few months ago. This time last year we were eating the first of many shave ices and taking pictures in our matching husband and wife shirts. Since we just celebrated our anniversary yesterday, I thought it would be fun to look at what the first year of marriage has taught me.
I feel like I should start out by saying that I really thought I had everything together when I got married last year. I felt like I had all the skills necessary to be a great wife and that I would be the most patient, understanding, loving, put-together 1950s-era housewife while still working full time. Anyone who is married is probably already laughing at the ridiculousness of this idea. If you aren't married, or if you are about to get married and have this same idea about what you will be like as a new wife, good luck. It just isn't going to happen. Everyone told me this and said learning to be married is "an adjustment" and that there is a "learning curve" and to make sure and "be patient with each other while you figure it all out" but I was positive that those words of advice were only for those people who weren't ready for marriage or were really immature. Apparently, I was one of those immature people since I assumed these things would not apply to me.
The first thing I learned this past year is that I am absolutely horrible at time management. I regularly am running out the door to work with my shoes in my hand and praying that traffic is on my side. No matter how early I wake up for work, I always seem to waste all but the last 10 minutes. Most days I am forced to choose between a cute hairstyle and a full face of makeup. Some days I am putting my hair in a ponytail and swiping on mascara in my car sitting in the parking lot at school. I don't know what I do in the mornings other than get ready, but without fail, I am always running out of time.
The second thing I have learned in my first year of marriage is to ask for help... kind of. More like I have learned to accept help when it is forced upon me without too much complaining. Sometimes the only way the laundry is going to get done is if Zach helps. Sometimes I just don't have time to make the awesome dinner I planned for the night. Sometimes I fall asleep because I refused to ask for help the week before and I am flat out exhausted but there are chores to be done. Zach often helps hang up the laundry, he has gone to the grocery store for me, and he has brought me things when I have been sick. For the first 9 months of our marriage, I insisted that as super-wife I could do it all and never needed help with anything. I am now learning to accept these gestures of love and not feel so guilty when I can't make everything happen on my own.
The last big thing I have learned this year is that I am either a WAY better cook than I thought or that Zach is WAY less of a foodie than I thought. Zach grew up eating out at restaurants multiple times a week. I was constantly trying to look up new and exciting recipes to compete with the meals I knew he was used to. Other than one time making butternut squash soup, Zach has loved (or pretended to love, maybe its all a lie!) every meal I have made. Sometimes I make stuff up based off of what is in the pantry. Sometimes I have no idea what I am doing until dinner ends up on the plate. Sometimes I follow a complicated recipe that takes 2 hours to make. It doesn't really seem to make that much of a difference. It is usually the meals that I thought were going to end up terrible that end up being added to our cookbook and make it into the regular rotation.
That's it... I only learned 3 things all year. JUST KIDDING! I learned and grew so much this year, these were just the top three things that stood out. It was hard to let go of my idealized version of what my first year married would be like but if I hadn't I never would have learned what I did. Leave me a comment below with something your marriage has taught you or what the ideal of your first year of marriage was like (and if it held up to the real thing!). I love hearing from you and can't wait to see everyone's thoughts!